Love’s musical list part 2

Yes, this is a Gwar song.  And yes, I dated a girl and this was “our” song.  Aannnddd….  that relationship was really messed up.  Early ’90s, I had a mullet and the Black Album by Metallica was on cassette in all of our cars.  Oh dear Lord, the amount of denim I’d wear… 

Well, first long term relationship of my life.  I almost threw Queensryche into this list but that was more of a memory of the group and someone always playing it on an accoustic guitar.  Why the heck did we always have a guitar around?  Was some talent scout going to show up at Lake Worth and sign us to a big contract because we’re making weird noises by a small fire?  Dag, yo.


MST3K 4: Episode 313 Earth vs the Spider


Dr Octopus is not in this one.

So, wait.  Insects in every post?  I need to put some Gorgo and Godzilla in here.  Or even Mighty Jack.  I’ll get on it, but I’ve already started this one.

I know I had watched Earth vs the Spider as a little kid but it blurred in with so many other giant-superimposed-spider movies.  Let’s film a tarantula being poked in the butt with a needle and project him on a blue screen.  Oh, and scientists and running teens.  Well here we go.

Lie, lie and lie and check your zipper.

That’s it… it attacked us.

Poor child, please don’t hit her.

Those that do wish he were dead.

Drops his pants and robs convenience store.

My life is a hollow lie.

Clean Town, U.S.A.

Welcome to Shame High School.

The Spider stripped the truck for parts.

Like Roadhouse and Next of Kin.

Jimmy Dean tried to kill you.

Someone or something has asthma!

I slipped on a little of your dad, gonna have to throw my shoe into the grave.


On the floor, Four-Eyes!

I don’t want you getting bad grades just because your dad’s worm-food.

I’ve gotta go play with my pig idol.

He stinks like mummy meat.

Use lip and tongue action.

Therma-Action Slacks!



San Antonio Football part 4

In 1990 the NFL decided that the popularity of the preseason American Bowls was enough to introduce permanent games into Canada and overseas.  Starting a minor league with North American and European teams with plans for expansion into Asia was part of the NFL’s plan for world domination.  Add in some foreign born players and future pro-wrestlers and what could go wrong?  So the World League of American Football.

I hope no one has any of these tattoos.

Well, San Antonio got a team: the Riders.  Right in the early ’90s, right when football started embedding itself into my psyche.  I have to say the WLAF really helped it.  Especially being a Spring football league, having games broadcast on USA network and the magical helmet cam.  Also being under 16 for those two years the league existed meant I was at home to watch those games.  Needless to say, this is the one San Antonio team that means the most to me.  And here’s their jerseys:

Brown socks? Ugh.

So expect a lot from me later and even more if I can get my scanner to work.

This comic looks awesome!

I found some random cat pictures online (imagine that) and a couple were from what I think is an Italian horror comic:

Cat: "You're not Krang! You lied to me!"

And then this happened:

Brain: "Ha, ha, ha! Wait till you see Michael Bay's TMNT!"

Well, if this were real life I hope it started like this:

"Is that Krang?!? I'm soooo getting his autograph..."



Flopping in the NBA

Real quick thought, and I’ll admit my bias: I’m a Dallas Mavericks fan and I dislike the San Antonio Spurs.  Well, I’m watching the Warriors/Lakers game right now and was marvelling at Pau Gasol looking like a carp thown onto a dock after being yanked out of the water.  So I went to Google Images and looked up “NBA flop” and this is the first picture:

"But he touched my butt!"

It made me smile.  With basketball as well as baseball and hockey you primarily hear the local broadcast.  And many of the local broadcasters are former players for the team they’re working for.  Homerism occurs alot and I’m sure people tend to notice it more when they have to hear the other team’s broadcast.  Or when Charles Barkley has made a bet.  But this being the first picture when I searched on Google made me feel a little bit better about my bias.

Oh, and about music…

It’s also important to me because I’ve been in many a crappy band.

Sometimes with Crazy Dave.

How have I not written about music yet?

I have a list.

I have several in fact, but this one is a musical list and for some reason I have yet to write about music.  The great thing about music is a song can invoke great emotions to the listener giving them lasting memories for years to come.  That or depressing them and forcing them to the nearest bottle.  Or you could reverse that, you know.  One thing leads to another.

So basically this list is a list of songs that make me think about a former girlfriend or love interest whenever I hear them.  It will probably be ever evolving as time goes on and I see more infomercials for 70’s Soul Hits.  Sometimes something you block out will come back and blindside you years later.

Now comes the a-hole part, I’m not putting up the list.  Each song has at least a little story to it so I want to tell it and post the best Youtube video I can find of it.

First one’s easy.  7th grade, first ever girlfriend.  Then she left me for a more popular guy and I found out Paul McCartney did music after the Beatles.  I remember hearing this song when my mom was taking me to track pratice early in the morning just about a week before I asked the girl out…  Ladies and gentlemen, off of Venus and Mars: Listen to What the Man Said.