Stretch Armstrong on Gay Marriage

Stretch Armstrong was confused and annoyed by all the Facebook posts about Chick-Fil-A.  Running in fear from his computer, Stretch found a nice comfy rock to sit on and ponder what the world was coming to…

“When you have no bones, yoga is easy bitches!”

Nearby the Stretch Monster was looking at other freaks at the circus.  Also he was inhaling helium and taking bath salts.

“You two should mate and have the World’s Most Average Heighted, uh, um Kid or Person… THE DUDE WOULD BE 6 FEET EVEN!!!”

And we all know what bath salts do:  MAKE YOU WANT TO EAT ANOTHER MAN’S FACE!!!

“No, Stretch Monster! Some old fart will say this is wrong!”

“The Swamp Seize?”  What the crap?

Anywho, Stretch Armstrong couldn’t fight that feeling anymore and since they were the only two Stretch beings in the world they decided not to fight their nature.  Even dogs were offended.

“The Chick-fil-A kiss in is Friday. I hope you’re ready!”

Like so many things in life love can end.  Stretch Monster was crushed by Stretch Armstrong’s cruel words and fled to Seattle to start a Nirvana cover band. 

And Stretch Armstrong found another love…

“If you’re gonna sin why not go all the way?”

Wow.

 

 

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