Richard Nixon vs Robocop

Years ago Richard Nixon and Robocop joined for charity.

NIXON VS ROBOCOP

It did not go well.

Robocop:  "You are a crook.  You are coming with me." Nixon:  "Directive 4 you Jive Turkey!"

Robocop: “You are a crook. You are coming with me.”
Nixon: “Directive 4 you Jive Turkey!”

SLAP!!!

"Tricky Dick strikes again!"

“Tricky Dick strikes again!”

And Robocop fell…

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Then Robocop read this:

http://robocop.wikia.com/wiki/Directive_4

Yeah, that’s right.  Jones not Nixon.  Robocop had been fooled.  And he swore revenge.

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And the video game was never released.  😦

Giant insects threaten our waterways!

Ah crap.  We’re doomed.

empireoftheants

ninjawaterspiders

AND THEY’RE LOOKING FOR LOVE!!!

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Oh yeah and sharks can fly.

flyingshark

shark-woods

Oh God, we’re screwed.

She Hulk vs Hulk (kinda)

I’ve been reading the Acts of Vengeance series from Marvel just recently.  The series came out in 1989 which was right in my wheelhouse of youthful comic reading.  A large cross-title storyline in which the villians attacked heroes that they wouldn’t normally fight.  Since I was following several titles at the time I had read most of the series when it came out.  Well, going through it recently I read several issues of Cloak and Dagger that were part of the story.  And the Green Hulk was on the cover.

Wait, the Hulk was grey at the time.  What the crap?  So the Avengers show up and Dagger is blind and Cloak has powers and I don’t remember them and…  Well, the Hulk’s cousin, She Hulk, takes on her angry family member…

hulkshehulk1

Yep, a robot.  The same robot that gets used all the time by by random villians to make you say: “Oh, no.  The Hulk’s really lost it now!  Will (fill in the Marvel title you’re reading) be able to survive?!?”  Then they notice everytime this Hulk hits them it feels the same (which how does that work?)  So the hero fighting the Hulk realizes the madder Hulk gets the stronger Hulk stays…  Oh, it’s a robot.  Something about cosmic energy and then questioning which foul super genius sent this after me.

Well this time RoboHulk has some new weapons.

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Yes.  Tickling.  Wouldn’t work on Iron Man.  I think.  Tony Stark may have a Mark 19 fetish armor somewhere.

The battle continues!

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She Hulk gains the upper hand and saves the day.  All while wearing capri pants!

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I wonder what 13 year old me would have thought about this whole ordeal.  I’m surprised I didn’t buy the Cloak and Dagger issues with the Hulk on the cover, but I don’t even remember seeing them.  If I did maybe I passed up on them since I was buying 32 different Spiderman titles since I was so excited he had COSMIC POWERS! Yeah, maybe more on that later…

Scientists are no fun.

Stupid smart people say this is a killer whale!

sea-monster

Well I say NO!  I think this beast that washed up on a New Zealand beach looked like this before!

upfromtheseas

Or at least this!

sfmontee

Yes, that corpse should be the Surf Monster from Hobie.  A terrifying beast searching for the perfect wave back in the 1980s.  And I wore his shirts!

surfmonster

Killer whale?!?  I’m calling my local cryptozoologist!

Ninjas + Golf = Ninja Golf!

Back in 1990 the scary Atari 7800 was around trying to scrape out an existence against the good old NES.  Well we all know what happened but the Atari 7800 had one up on Mario’s home platform:  Ninja Golf!

Sir, I don't think that's a regulation club.

Sir, I don’t think that’s a regulation club.

Unfortunately I never have played this magical game but there are other magicks in this world.  Like Youtube.

 

Just the fact that you have to battle sharks when crossing water hazards makes this the greatest golfing game ever.  It also is probably the only golf game you can die in. 

Play better or it's seppuku for you!

Play better or it’s seppuku for you!

All I know is the next Tiger Woods better be this awesome.

Mars Attacks the Transformers

IDW put out a series of one-shot comics featuring Mars Attacks and other characters.  Like KISS and Popeye.  I’m serious.  Well the Martians also did battle with my favorite giant transforming robots from the  1980s!

Mars Attacks the Transformers 01 (2013) (digital-Empire) 001

And Spike adds to the excitement!

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Later on we get to hear the greatest Martian translation IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

transformersspikeshock

Ah, taunting the recently deceased for taunting you.