Maybe I was born 10 years too late.

Sometime I feel like I’m still in my 20s but then I look at my drivers license and realize I’m wrong.  Then I go looking through my books and I think: “Man, I feel like I should be older with the things I like.”  I miss when the oldies station didn’t have 70’s weekends and when the local TV broadcasts had sci-fi and monster movies on every weekend afternoon.  Eh, I’m a weirdo.

One of my favorite books to read when I went to my grandparents house was this:

strangestories

An interesting hodge-podge of many things pseudo-science and of course the big thing for me: cryptozoology. Continue reading

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This was my favorite tie of all time.

I once owned this tie:

Not my actual former tie.  Some lucky, blessed person's current tie.

Not my actual former tie. Some lucky, blessed person’s current tie.

A friend of mine gave me a magical Hulk tie that I was proud to wear.  But then, one night, in the midst of stupid folly, I wore the tie to a bar.  The Black Dog bar…

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Digital Cameras: Friend or Foe?

I own three digital cameras and fear change so I’ve been having issues taking pictures of my random cookings.  The past year or so I’ve been using one of my parent’s old cameras, a klunky HP 735 that’s 3.2 MP and drinks batteries like we’re on a cheap date.  It took good pictures if the subject stood still but when you’re a crazy cat gentleman like me it just didn’t cut it…

"Hulk hold Johnny 5 so picture good!!!"

“Hulk hold Johnny 5 so picture good!!!”

Well, back in February I was looking around my local Wal-Mart and decided to buy  a new camera.  A Vivitar that’s 12 MP.  That’ almost 4 times better than that HP!  Think of all the great cat pictures I can take!

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There’s a demon haunting my patio.

I’m not gonna tell the full story yet but a “friend” of mine asked me to cat-sit until the end of summer.  Then end of year.  Then end of forever…

Well this shitty kitty liked doing things like this to my cats: 

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The last straw was when she went completely insane, hurt both Johnny 5 and Hank Blalock and tore the crap out of me.  So I threw her out.  Hard.  She was never really happy staying with us and her owner kept claiming she would do something…

No, I’m saving that story for later.  Maybe the ending will be happy.

Well for about a week I didn’t see her at all.  I was hoping some kindly family had adopted her and she would live a long healthy life as the only cat in her new household.

But she came back.  And lurks on the patio.

"Johnny, just ignore that crazy female out there.  If should could she'd bite you twice as hard as before."

“Johnny, just ignore that crazy female out there. If she could she’d bite you twice as hard as before.”

So, I’m a sucker especially for cats and I’m trying to hold firm on this one.  I’m keeping a reminder on the rod that opens the patio cutains… or what ever they are called

My own blood stains from when she went insane!!!

My own blood stains from when she went insane!!!

Yeah, I know they’ll wear off.  But maybe that possum I just saw outside will eat her first.

So about the lack of posts…

But the great flood of 2013 happened…

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And once again the majority of the damage is in my room.  And still not completely fixed…

I need a new career…

I’ve been thinking about finding a new job.  My current one has issues and I’m getting burned out on the whole overnight thing.  So I went through my qualifications and made a brief list of jobs that would be best for me.

1. Makeovers for nerdy girls.

2. Muderous Swampman

3. Suspicious Taco Shell Creator

4. Professional Shoe Warrior (not licensed by the State)

5. High School Bully from the 1950s

I used Bing to find out more about these jobs and all appear lower paying than my current job.  But the Murderous Swampmen have great benefits.

 

Mark Shaw

My friend Mark Shaw just passed away recently.  He was a part of my life.  Sometimes major, sometimes minor but since my senior year in High School he’s been a part of it.   Even if we weren’t hanging out at the time he’d be a part of stories, memories and influences on my life.  Lord knows plenty of times we rubbed each other the wrong way but always we’d end up laughing and talking crap about the rest of the World again.

 

Mark loved everything about sleep except waking up.

Mark and I had plenty of terrible adventures.  We’ve been nude on stage together.  We’ve dealt with German bands at seedy hotels in Dallas together.  We’ve been in car wrecks together.  We’ve seen Crazy Dave’s new tattoo float by us in the pool together.  We’ve worked together.  We’ve puked together.  We’ve burned a diary together.  We’ve ruined relationships together.  Hell, sometimes the best thing was that we played Contra together.

I miss him.  I will say I took it for granted that he was going to be kicking it around up here in Northeast Tarrant County as long as I was.  And that is all I’ll say along those lines here.

I will also say Mark touched a lot of people in his life.  He was a drummer and became a damn good one over time.  His personality made an impression on anyone that was around him for any amount of time.  Almost like a brother, being asshole/close friend 60/40 or 40/60 % of the time.  His travels and touring spread the magic that was Mark.  People states away…  people countries away from his home on Bandit Trail had stories about Mark that they will tell for years to come.

I wish there was one way to sum up Mark.  To show what he was, what he meant to so many.  These two videos do give a bit of a sight into him but there is so much more to say…

I miss you Mark.  I’m glad I was able to speak at your funeral and I sure as hell would have gone a lot longer and added juicier details if it was just friends there.  Hell, I could have gone on longer even without the details.  You were a rich part of my life and it is hard to believe and it hurts to know you’re gone.  You gave me a lifetime of stories to tell and I shall tell them.  Just like everyone you touched.

I love you brother.

p.s.  “Here’s your Igoo!”