Things I’ve Written Crazy Dave.

I send random messages to Crazy Dave all the time.  Usually trying to break his spirit or make him question his sexuality.  But Dave has either thick skin or a short memory so I haven’t succeeded in doing either.

"Listen to these words, Dave, for your life is useless.  And my tongue drives you to madness!"

“Listen to these words, Dave, for your life is useless. And my tongue drives you to madness!”


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Grilled?!? Potatoes?!?

The magic of dollar stores is that you find strange products that you don’t feel so guilty about wasting a buck on.  I’ve also learned not to get addicted to anything from a dollar store because it may disappear.  I’m looking at you  Reser’s Dill Dip!  Grrr!

Well the other week I discovered these in the freezer section…

OreIda?  I've heard of that company!  And it looks strange typed like that.

OreIda? I’ve heard of that company! And it looks strange typed like that.

Well lets just say the Foreman Grill didn’t work too well on these so I used both the oven directions and the broiler directions.  Continue reading

Stir Fry attack!!!

When I go walking later in the day my nose is assaulted by the smells of the local restaurants nearby my apartment.  So Panda Express and Fresh Wok are entering my nasal cavities.  Well that makes me hungry.  Since both these places are really hit or miss I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Yahoo search here I come!

And that really didn’t help me.  So I decided to drive down to Kroger and buy some random things to throw together for my idea of Chinese food.

So naturally I bought Korean style sauce.

Johnny 5 is displeased with my choice.  And Myspace.

Johnny 5 is displeased with my choice. And Myspace.

Okay, one step closer to Asian food with the Korean Teriyaki Sauce.  Next up I need veggies…

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Make your own Subway sandwich. Baby.

Hi.  My name’s Matt and I like food.  I also eat at Subway sometimes.  I also have Godzilla tattoos.  Combine the two.


Ok that’s out of the way.  For years I was never a big Subway fan.  I usually only ate there because I would go to visit friends that worked there.  If I wanted a sandwich I didn’t make myself I went to Schlotzky’s.  Then I’d buy the veggie sandwich that was the size of a normal human’s head.  (But much smaller than mine.)

Well about 3 years ago my roommate asked me if I wanted to go with him to Subway.  I said yes and when we got to the counter I panicked because I had no clothes on and it was the day of the big test.  Actually it was because I didn’t know what I wanted.  But there, on the menu, I saw the words Black Forest Ham and Salami. THE ITALIAN B.M.T.!

After two bites I realized I could make the same dern thing at home and not have to deal with the facial tattoos and bad attitudes.  Here we go!

First buy multipple food products from several stores.

First buy multiple food products from several stores.

Kroger has a ton of their own brand of salad dressings.  I’m addicted to the one I used on this sanwich and the Three Cheese Ranch.  2 for $3!

I've spilled some on a white shirt.  Not fun.

I’ve spilled some on a white shirt. Not fun.

And then Hank showed up to help me.

"I'll eat anything you fool!  This sandwich will be mine!"

“I’ll eat anything you fool! This sandwich will be mine!”

Then, like Subway, I found out the sandwich was too short.

I then rubbed the tape measure all over it and threw everything at Hank.

I then rubbed the tape measure all over it and threw everything at Hank.

Actually the sandwich was really good and has become a part of my lunch rotation for work.  Now I can get these pictures off my desktop.

New salad dressing?!?

Sorry it’s been slow but between the washing machine leaking and bad storms knocking out the power I’ve had to neglect this blog.  So here’s one quick post before I get ready to head to work.  Just to prove I’m not dead.

Albertsons had a sale buy 5 Kraft products get $5 off.  Well I was out of Ranch dressing for my baby carrots and had a couple of coupons for other items so I thought what the heck.  Deciding I needed a second type of dressing I scanned the aisle searching for something to put on my salad mix at home.  I found this:

Even Johnny 5 cowers from it! That or the flash annoyed him.


Yes that says Honey Mustard with Chipotle.  Someone is either a genius or very, very cruel.  I’m even scared to try and taste it, but I just had to buy it.  And, of course, I didn’t realize the shape my salad mix was in so I’ve got to wait one more day to try it.  Why do I have the urge to marinate pork chops in this…


Aldi scares me

Aldi is a discount grocery chain that we have around here.  I’m not sure how nationwide they are to tell you the truth but they originated in Germany.  They cut their costs by charging a quarter for shopping carts, not having sackers and charging you if for grocery bags.  All of which I’m perfectly fine with especially since every time I’ve gone shopping there I’ve only bought a few items .  Even if I did major shopping there I’d be fine with it.  But that’s not what scares me.

The customers scare me.

I had worked grocery for 10+ years and I’ve kinda got a feel for the best times to go to enjoy a great shopping experience.  Not at Aldi.  One of the ways they cut costs is having a smaller store.  The aisles are a little bit closer together and almost seem like they’re meant to be one-way.  The front doors open up directly into an aisle where you immediately encounter a customer complaining about having to pay for their shopping cart.  Thus the log jam begins.  If you’re lucky you won’t encounter any families while shopping there.  It seems I’m never lucky.  It’s like if you combined Dawn of the Dead with Pacman.  Ugh.

Ok, I’m just ranting.  Yesterday was the third time where I’ve gone to Aldi to buy something I saw in their ad and became so frustrated dealing with customers that I just gave up and left.  I’m perfectly fine with the idea  of paying for carts and bags to save some money.  I’ve never had a problem with any of their employees and the products that I’ve bought there have always been good.  So, Aldi, I’ve come to realize I don’t really hate and fear you.

I just hate the human race.  Blah.