Some Random Short Story

I ran across this story messing around with one of my old computers.  I barely remember writing it, it was from a time of lots of beer and liquor in my life.  And Lovecraft if you can imagine that.  I just read through it quickly and decided to throw it on here with this little intro and no editing.  Hope you enjoy it.

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I’m craving hot dogs right now.

Sometimes a man craves a good hot dog.  Or a bad one.  Or 18 in one sitting which is my personal record.  Hot dogs can be a great mystery for all of us and like a late ’70s television special on UFOs we question:  Do we really want to know the truth?

hotdogstarving

And sometimes HOT DOGS ATTACK!

hotdogstothedamnface

 

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

 

alienweiner

Lead on my friend.

bramaze

Unless you’re this guy:

bra-man-happy

I’ve never seen such joy.

The worst part of cleaning the kitchen

Or the scariest.

cleantheoven 001

Which for some reason reminds me of this.

toilet1

Yes I did move the blender Continue reading

Bigfoot + Metallic = I was 15 once.

bigfootmetallica

Larry the Cable Guy Mac & Cheese

Mac and Cheese.  Important.  Magical.  And sometimes scary.

Something bad has happened.

Something bad has happened.

Larry the Cable Guy Mac & Cheese.  Smokey Bacon Flavor.  What the crap?

Or is this what I’ve been waiting for?

Wait, there are 5 different pictures of his head on this box…

"I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake.  I know when you Git-R-Done so Git-R-Done for goodness sake."

“I see you when you’re sleeping, I know when you’re awake. I know when you Git-R-Done so Git-R-Done for goodness sake.”

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A Weird Dream.

I had a weird dream last night, hence the title of this blog.  It started out feeling like an ’80s comedy but as I was released from jail for my wacky hijinks I ran into someone down the hallway.  Former Philadelphia Eagles head coach Buddy Ryan.

buddyryan

Yep, the same Buddy Ryan that punched Kevin Gilbride when they were on the same team:

Well, in this dream Coach Ryan was telling a group of people that the Senate needed to do something about the budget.  The current Presidency had caused enough problems and the salaries of high school teachers were way to low.  The time to impeach is now!

I feared he would sense that I’m a Cowboys fan…
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