McD’s or somesuch…

My roommate works for McDonalds.  I used to work at McDonalds.  McDonalds haunts my life and dreams…

I wish these were the current prices.  With any burger place.

I wish these were the current prices. With any burger place.  And the Root Beer is Delightful…

When they final opened a McDonalds in my home town they briefly had a sale where you could get one hamburger for a quarter.  Limit 10.  I spent $2.50 + tax multiple times.  Life was good.

Guess who'll be sleeping under your bed from now on.

Guess who’ll be sleeping under your bed from now on.

Ronald sure as heck can be scary.  And could eat your soul.

"Children are just McNuggets to me!  Where's my dipping sauce?!?"

“Children are just McNuggets to me! Where’s my dipping sauce?!?”

Employees hunger for flesh as well…

mcbrains...  mcbrains...

mcbrains… mcbrains…

But one good thing about McDonalds is they will add bacon to anything!

I so need Ranch dressing with this!

I so need Ranch dressing with this!

Of course half the time I go there I want to  be like this:

"What?!?  The shake machine is down?!?  Talk to the hand."

“What?!? The shake machine is down?!?
Talk to the hand.”


Myspace blog: I dated a Mexican girl.

It ended well.

I found some of my Myspace blogs.  This one is from January 28, 2008…  a very scary time in my life.  But hey, it happened.  And I’m just copying it so blame my editing on the Matt of Christmas Past…




Run over by the weekend…

So, the binge is over.  No more random texts to people seeing if they can guess what I’m wearing.  My angry tummy slowly readjusting from wackiness.  Painful memories of the return of the second incarnation of the Drunkateers.  Nobody’s family members yelled at me.  Well, that I can remember.  Soar throat, painful back and a my insides slowly getting out of their funk.

Sometimes its hard to think where it started.  Friday in Lake Dallas with airplane bottles that Jeff was nice enough to give me, then off to the Mavs game at the AAC.  Home of the $7 beer.  Ouch.  Then came the party with the olds.  Drinks and I was the second youngest person there.  That’s a party.

Why am I listening to Son of Sam?

Well Whataburger followed and then sleeping on a nicer couch than usual.  Oh, and I’m not sure what texting went on that night but it can’t be good.  Thank God I erase everything in my texting path.  Also that I don’t have a camera phone.  Or a court illustrator.  1920’s reporter maybe.

So at about 11 am, shortly after I got to sleep (I lie, I have no idea when sleep came) I was awoken by a text reminding me of the wonders of early Saturday afternoon.  Rahr.  I drug my carcass to my car eventually and headed back toward Bedford, home of the Seabeasts.

Feist, now…

So, a can of Steel Reserve and dilly-dallying got me to Rahr at about 1:30 so first free beer at about 1:50.  Oh, and they’ve done away with the bottlecaps for awhile because people were stockpiling them and getting really drunk.  That was fine by me because I didn’t have the time to chug  even the 4 beers you receive.  They stopped serving, I peed, there was talk of strip club going and I headed home.  To my other 2 cans of Steel Reserve.  The next few hours were confusing.

So, Emily got off work and there was talk of a party and Gators.  Yes, Gators.  So Mike had Sunday off and we got him to go out.  Yes, Michael Wayne Martin left the apt for longer than an hour for something non-work related.  Now, Gators was, well, Gators.  Mike expressed his dislike for horny black men and their fruity drinks, we finished our large mugs and headed out toward Northside.  Of course we purchased more alcohol.  A few quick drinks, Red Dwarf playing on the TV and some telephone drama then it was time to swing by the Chatroom and come back when it closed.  See there was this buzzing in the back of my head or maybe I was just drunk and wanted to punch someone in the tit. 

Drank the usual, ran into a few people, threated the jukebox then the urinal and then through the door walked a man that was once a skinny as Mike (aka Spider), Mark Shaw.  With the army and parenthood having taken away one of the original Drunkateers Mike was called upon to join the other two in their lowly lives of drinking.  The Three Drunkateers had been reunited.  Heaven help us.

Daft Punk now, followed by Gorillaz.

Mark had a problem with couch size, so he asked us kindly if he could crash at our place.  We said sure and even offered to take him home the next day.  Then the bar closed.  Back to Northside, now featuring the drummer of Brickfight.  The party had somewhat grown and Mark had 151.  Yes, 151.  Emily dropped us off at the apt sometime around 5 am, with Mad Dog awaiting us.  I fell asleep (or passed out, if you prefer) at about 6 as Mike and Mark were throwing darts.  I woke up a little later to find Frank staring in fear at Mark’s lying form and slowly backing away from the couch.  I picked him up and set him on Mike’s bed only to find him in the same exact position 30 minutes later when I needed to pee. 

I woke up…  Wait I need to start another song…  Nim Vind.

I woke up serveral times, fed the cats finally getting up for good at about 3:30, an hour and a half after Mark was supposed to be at work.  Eh, it happens.  I tried the hair of the dog, but my body was done.  I think that I was somewhat drunk nonstop for over 48 hours.  First beer on Friday at 3:30 pm and the 151 and Coke was finished around 5:00 pm on Sunday right before I took Mark home.  Then Mike and I ate Cici’s (which always makes me sick now) and purchased fine tools for McDonalds (you knew that would enter into this story somehow).
Then I gave up and crashed.

Well, it was a fun weekend.  The Mavs won their game we went to and I got to see Kobe Bryant score 40 points and not rape anyone.  There was some drama, but that always will happen if you are around several large groups of people in a short period of time.  And we all got to laugh at Mike as her drooled on himself.  Ah, good times.

It was fun, thanks everyone I got to hang out with this weekend.

People knew and respected us.

And I still dislike you Kobe.


Happy Meal Aliens!

I’ve got a strange collection of mini figures packed away in random places.  Armymen, erasers, little Transformers, Battle Beasts, etc.  The other day I was digging thru the interweb and I found this picture:

Back when McDonalds = Magic.

The Diener Space Creature Happy Meal Toys!  (Sounds like an indie band)  At one point in time I owned at least one of each of these.  Through the years I’ve lost several, had a few stolen and had two that were severely chewed up by cats.  So I wanted to see which ones I had in the couple of boxes of mini figures I had in my closet…

America’s Favorite Boy Band!

The two with ink/marker on them were second hand.  The Bat Creature and Bug Creature I got from Happy Meals back in the early ’80s and have some parts that were chewed off by cats.  Now out of these five my favorite one is the yellow one with the ink outlines.

I call him Aqua!

This was the first Diener Space Creature I ever owned.  Some poor kid in one of my mom’s classes got it taken up and I got a new toy!  Actually I think she was teaching High School at the time so the kid was probably trying to stick it down a girls shorts or something.  Whoever it was is like 50 now…

Oh, wait.  Getting off track here.  These toys were loosely based off of old Sci-Fi film monsters.  And good old Aqua here was based on Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth

He didn’t need bath salts to do his thing.

Yup, one of my favorite Ray Harryhausen monsters of all time in convenient toy form.  And somehow I’ve held onto him for around 30 years…  I’m a dork.



Dollar store magic

I love my new egg slicer.  I’ve only used it 3 times and it may well break soon but I’ve gotten my dollar’s worth from it.

Soon to be covered in bleu cheese...


Yes, a side salad from McD’s with a hard boiled egg and shredded cheese added to it!  Ha, ha, ha!  I’m a mad man at work!


Wait! What am I doing? The madness has gone too far!!!




My roommate works for McDonalds.

He’s a restaurant manager.  Makes dern good money and better bring home two side salads today like I asked him.  During my brief years working as a McD’s manager with him he would get upset when I wanted to do this:

This is too true of a feeling.

And once again I’m fine with working my current crappy job instead of going back to fast food management.