The strangest Arthur Adams cover ever…

HMANnaa…  daaaarrr…  what in the crap of Hell?

Screw the Blockheads, Gumby… YOU’RE IN HELL!

Wow, I really want to read this comic.

Oh, and I need to write about MST3K again…

 

MST3K 4: Episode 313 Earth vs the Spider

 

Dr Octopus is not in this one.

So, wait.  Insects in every post?  I need to put some Gorgo and Godzilla in here.  Or even Mighty Jack.  I’ll get on it, but I’ve already started this one.

I know I had watched Earth vs the Spider as a little kid but it blurred in with so many other giant-superimposed-spider movies.  Let’s film a tarantula being poked in the butt with a needle and project him on a blue screen.  Oh, and scientists and running teens.  Well here we go.

Lie, lie and lie and check your zipper.

That’s it… it attacked us.

Poor child, please don’t hit her.

Those that do wish he were dead.

Drops his pants and robs convenience store.

My life is a hollow lie.

Clean Town, U.S.A.

Welcome to Shame High School.

The Spider stripped the truck for parts.

Like Roadhouse and Next of Kin.

Jimmy Dean tried to kill you.

Someone or something has asthma!

I slipped on a little of your dad, gonna have to throw my shoe into the grave.

PDQ ASAP you SOB.

On the floor, Four-Eyes!

I don’t want you getting bad grades just because your dad’s worm-food.

I’ve gotta go play with my pig idol.

He stinks like mummy meat.

Use lip and tongue action.

Therma-Action Slacks!

 

 

MST3K 3: Episode 210 King Dinosaur

I'm Chirpy, the Mutant Hell Beast!

Brief pause from football, usual drill.  I saw King Dinosaur a few times as a little kid and it was always a letdown.  Anytime you use lizards with random fins glued to their body as dinosaurs it crushed my heart.  Where’s the stop-motion or suitmation?  I don’t want to see a half starved pet that has experienced a hot glue gun recently!  Here we go…

If you kill yourselves here we can’t kill them over there!

Hotdog!  I gotta date with Death!

Seemed like a swell guy except when he ate.

He became alarmed by my modelled face and bumpy skull…

Hitler drove a stick.

The Ultimate Morning Zoo radio show!

There is a margin for shame.

And there, on the handle…  WAS SOME STOCK FOOTAGE OF A HOOK!!!

There’s a foreign object in the ring.

It sounded like it swollowed a dolphin.

I just had this crazy dream…  it was erotic.

I’ll show you how to handle that thing.  I learned from LBJ!

Before you take me into your heart you should know I eat my own young.

Those aren’t the real tears I’ve heard about.

Gecko Roman Wrestling.

I might be dead but I won on points.

Will the lizards find peace in the valley?

Take my hand, I’m a stranger with parasites.

Lies. Wicked, wicked lies.

 

MST3K 2: Episode 810 The Giant Spider Invasion

Giant Spider Foundation Repair sucks. Go with All Pro.

 I have papers laying all over the place with things written on them.  Things that don’t make too much sense.  Notes I’ve taken while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Just crazy random quotes that I heard or think I heard.  And now I’ll share them with you.

First a little personal information on the movie.  I had seen this movie several times as a yute and marvelled at the butt-crack that wasn’t shown in the MST3k version.  In my adulthood (if you’d call it that) I puchased the film on DVD at the local Half Priced Books still not knowing that MST3k had done a version of it.  And that cashier was cute and wanted to know about the movie!!! 

Oh, well.  This movie also gave me the fear of opening drawers for awhile.  Stupid spiders.  Now for the confusion:

There’s my cat!

She’s drinking fermented Yoohoo

I need one room in Las Vegas and alot of liqour please.

Crank up the Molly Hatchett and go to town!!!

Satan’s out running.

Packers fans: The Horrible Truth.

Your bodily funk travels over the phoneline.

I will grow into my beauty!

Humor of the 1840s.

This movie tested well with sexual predators.

Stupid and smells of beer sweat.

This battle of wits is over…  HA, HA!!

Putting up birth control for the winter.

THE DUTCH AND HELGA SHOW!

I married a land surveyor.

Boy, problems are hard.

Action Phone Scene!

Please just go back to your drinkin’.

I wanna go pet the wounded goat.

It’s Suicide Days at New Richmond!

Basted with sun-brewed mayo.

Jog walk out of danger!

I guess somebody tampered in God’s domain or something…

Go Packers.

I swear there was a good 15 minutes of screaming “Go Packers!”  and everytime I laughed.

I think this was my uncle.

MST3K 1: Squirm episode 1012

The beginning of a beautiful thing...

 I have papers laying all over the place with things written on them.  Things that don’t make too much sense.  Notes I’ve taken while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Just crazy random quotes that I heard or think I heard.  And now I’ll share them with you.

First a little background from me, I saw this movie when I was 10 or 11 at my aunt and uncles house.  My cousin that’s my age told it was her favorite horror movie and they were all sure that since I loved monster movies that I would love Squirm.  Well there’s a reason it’s on MST3K and blood sucking worms don’t equal up to Gamera loving all children.  I never trusted my family’s judgement on movies again.  (Except Clash of the Titans.  I swear every other time they babysat me it was on the Saturday Night Million Dollar Movie on TV 39.)

And now what I (may) have heard:

We’re gonna stick out heads in the towel dispensor. 

People read slowly back then. 

One clod says something and the whole world pays. 

He visited him nightly until he was driven mad. 

It helps if you’re stupid. 

It’s Paula Cole scatting. 

Evil little kid music. 

I won’t sing anymore until the check clears the bank. 

The Jim Varney Library. 

All the Smithfield Hams will go off… 

Mind if I paw through your underwear drawer while I’m hear?  It’ll save me a trip. 

I’ll pack a picnic of skin and hands. 

Fishing in his new school clothes. 

I will dye my hair clown red for you. 

Were any antiques harmed? 

Oh, I’ll go lock myself back in the attic. 

Free kittens with mange. 

I smell pork and it ain’t the special. 

Please pass something brown. 

Kevin McHale: cross dresser. 

An unbaked breadstick in slacks. 

Ah, the Peeping Tree. 

The Anti-Bird Rally is failing.

Money was spent... ON WORMS!!!

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