Things I’ve Written Crazy Dave.

I send random messages to Crazy Dave all the time.  Usually trying to break his spirit or make him question his sexuality.  But Dave has either thick skin or a short memory so I haven’t succeeded in doing either.

"Listen to these words, Dave, for your life is useless.  And my tongue drives you to madness!"

“Listen to these words, Dave, for your life is useless. And my tongue drives you to madness!”


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Jaws changes his mind.

First he was like:


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This afternoon I decided to break down and order pizza even though a tasty Red Baron had been eying me the past week from my freezer.  Even though Papa John’s has been taunting me with their e-mails and promises of points and how close I am to a free pizza I decided to go the cheaper way and choose Domino’s.  I know alot of people aren’t big on Domino’s but they have on of the best pizza’s a major chain can make in my opinion.  I usually get the 2 mediums for $5.99 each deal and on one I order it with white sauce instead of red and the two toppings Philly steak and green bell peppers.  It costs a $1 more but makes a dern good Philly Cheese Steak Pizza.

Oh so gooey, greasy and good.

Oh so gooey, greasy and good.

Yeah, that one’s not gonna survive the night…  Continue reading

Fancy Pizza Cutting

I found these instructions online:


Then I realized I often eat Tony’s Pizzas  which are now square.



What to do?  Well I damn well better try something!!!

I've been home from work for 30 minutes and this is happening.

I’ve been home from work for 30 minutes and this is happening.


This was supposed to be awesome.

On my way home from work this morning I stopped by Kroger for a 1.25 liter Coke and some shredded cheese.  Usual staples for making lunch for work.  Well I decided to walk down the frozen aisle and see if there was anything I wanted to eat when I got home.  Suddenly, in the frozen pizzas, I saw a new item on sale that I just had to try…

Johnny 5 was trying to warn me. I didn’t listen.

Yep, Tony’s Macaroni and Cheese pizza.  Combining Two of the Four of my Food Groups.  This is going in the oven.

Protect your pizza pans with aluminum foil. Actually I’m protecting my food from the pan…

At first I though I had just gotten a cheese pizza in magical box.  Then I realized the lighting in my kitchen sucks and the sun still wasn’t completely up.  There were noodles alright it was time to cook…

Have you ever been on a nude cruise?

I’ve had mac and cheese pizza before just never a frozen one.  I’d grab a slice or two at buffets and it was all good.  Well the one thing that was really bad was some of the macaroni was crunchy!  The pizza didn’t look overcooked so was there uncooked pasta on it?

Now about one of my personal problems:  I hate wasting food.  God made Ranch dressing to cover-up man’s mistakes.  I fought through the rest of the pizza spitting out any suspect pieces and doing lots and lots of dipping.

My stomach fights many battles every week and maybe once a week I have to bust out the Tums.  Well they didn’t work this time so I finally had to open up this bad boy:

Half my pictures on this blog are of Wal-Mart products.

So, what have I learned?  Probably nothing but at least you guys get to read about my pain.