Where the F is my ham?!?

"Where the F is my ham!  I'm hungry!!!"

“Where the F is my ham! I’m hungry!!!”

"You little turd!  Where's my ham!"

“You little turd! Where’s my ham!”

"Did you turds give my ham to this puny Indian?  A-holes!!!"

“Did you turds give my ham to this puny Indian? A-holes!!!”

"Finally my tasty, tasty ham.  I can feel the juices dripping down my sabre-like teeth."

“Finally my tasty, tasty ham. I can feel the juices dripping down my sabre-like teeth.”

 

Food from my past!

I was digging around the interweb, as usual, and found a few random food items that I had blocked from my mind.  Sometime the things you crave from your childhood horrify and terrify your adult soul.  Or sometimes you just wish they still existed for you to mix vodka with.

monsterfreezems

The lack of giant monster foods in my life has hurt and upset me for years.  I swore to myself that the monster on the far right was King Kong.  Unfortunately the giant gorilla head usually only appeared once in these boxes and was the nasty grape or orange flavor.  Ugh.

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I made sliders for lunch.

note:  I started this post on December 5th, 2012…  so, I forgot half the things I was gonna say.  Look, the next day was my birthday so I got distracted and I probably haven’t cut my hair since then.  Sorry. 

I was shopping at Kroger the other day and noticed something new on the bread aisle:

Don't tell the slider buns, but those hot dog buns are from Albertsons.

Don’t tell the slider buns, but those hot dog buns are from Albertsons.

Enriched mini buns.  Sounds kinda weird, but…  Of course I had to buy them and make sliders for lunch!  Just add cheese, onions and mayo and I’m good to go!

It's like I'm at White Castle and very, very sad...

It’s like I’m at White Castle and very, very sad…

Well I learned something important, be really careful how much seasoning you put into slider patties.  I wasn’t.  I paid the price. 

I’m sure I’ll give it another shot sometime but for now I’ll stick with my normal sized burgers.

I like living in the Dallas/Fort Worth Area…

But we sure have problems…

Don’t let the Fantastic Four hear about this…

And why does Shazam…  I mean Captain Marvel…  I mean whatever…  Why does he have have such ridiculous adventures?

Read it s-l-o-w-l-y.

 

Why?

Al B. Sure!

I just remembered Al B. Sure!.  Not that I know a single song he did but it happened.

Al B. Sure! preparing for the National Spelling Bee.

Actually the major thing I remember about Al B. Sure! is that sometime back in the late ’80s/early ’90s there was a 900 number that you could call and win a date with him.  Youtube does not have this video which makes me sad.  So when I get home from work the search is on!

I am not safe…

 

Dear God...