The magic of Kroger’s frozen veggies…

When you’re eating for one (or 1.75) frozen vegetables are helpful since they keep much longer than fresh or the leftovers from a can.  And with my love for awkward Mexican food Kroger makes the ultimate mixed veggies for me!  For $1!  Hell yeah!  (Not the band)

 

 

That’s right just add chicken, shrimp or steak and other randomness for your dining delite!  I did this two nights ago!

Soon that cheese shall be all melty…

This puppy has steak, rice, cheddar cheese and Taco Bell Jalapeno sauce.  I ate it.  I ate it real good.

So thank you Kroger for helping me eat tasty, inexpensive lunches late at night while working.  However, you could do a better job not wasting paper.  This is the receipt I got tonight after buying one Coke…

It’s taller than the bottle! And not as tasty!

 

I need a new career…

I’ve been thinking about finding a new job.  My current one has issues and I’m getting burned out on the whole overnight thing.  So I went through my qualifications and made a brief list of jobs that would be best for me.

1. Makeovers for nerdy girls.

2. Muderous Swampman

3. Suspicious Taco Shell Creator

4. Professional Shoe Warrior (not licensed by the State)

5. High School Bully from the 1950s

I used Bing to find out more about these jobs and all appear lower paying than my current job.  But the Murderous Swampmen have great benefits.

 

The BABES are back!

How was your Halloween?

Well it sucked for the army.  Using top secret radar from the 1950s our nation’s defenses encountered a frightening problem!

“Sir! You’re confused and aroused!”
“Shut up and keep pointing you fool!”

So reacting with tender care these brave men jumped to action!

“Stupid cigarette lighter won’t stay pushed in! How will I smoke while driving!?!”

The combined might of all the Armed Forces was hurled at this terrifying threat!

 

Somehow a giant cross-hair appeared in the sky. God must really hate witches.

 

To the horror of Major Wood and Private Parts something horribly horrible occurred!

“We’ve tampered in God’s domain!!!”

The fools never saw that Geico commercial!

Who designed that missle? I hope a small child did. Or the homeless.

Major Wood lost his cool and Private Parts went wee-wee a little in his nicely pressed slacks.  Reagan’s Star Wars Defense plan had failed.

Wait, I was wrong. That’s Captain Picard.

Then they all died because there were razor blades in their candy.

 

The End.